How do you stay true to yourself? Right now, with the political and social climate that we live in, it's tough to dissect feelings and emotions to know what is true and what is a reflection of others. If you spend any time on social media these days, no doubt the amount of one-sided posts you read make your brain go crazy. Our world is full of unrest and uncertainty, but it is also full of love. The thing that we are missing the most is balance. You have to approach social and political issues knowing where you stand on them and what your gut is telling you. Be informed, do your research, but don't follow one particular person or voice just because they are the loudest or most well-known for their opinions. Also, don't pick someone just because they are completely in alignment with your thoughts and opinions. Wait...what? You might be questioning that last statement. Think about it. If you only listen to people who have the exact same opinions that you do, how do you expand or open your mind to other perspectives? That old saying that there are certain things to avoid in conversations with friends-politics, religion and finances...wrong. If you have friends that are truly good friends you should be able to talk about these things to help expand your mind. If we only surround ourselves with 'like-minded' people we really limit our sphere of thought expansion and acceptance.
It's so easy to be persuaded to take one side in a situation when that's all that is in front of you. If you don't ever consider the other side, or perspective, you can't make an informed decision or opinion for yourself. This takes us back to 'staying true to you.' How do you know when you are being true to you? What does it feel like? Can your opinion change? The answers to those questions are pretty simple. You will know that you are being true to your own beliefs and feelings when it feels good deep in your gut, in your heart and in your mind. You will feel settled. Yes, your opinion can change-it should. The more that you know, the more you investigate, the more research you do, the more you learn-the more often you will find that your opinion changes. A belief and an opinion are really not that different. Some say that a belief is based on personal faith and an opinion is based on feelings and assumptions. When you add in knowledge and understanding to feelings and assumptions, that seems a better definition of 'opinion.'
It is a good practice to try to not be defensive over your opinions and feelings. When we become defensive over something we think we completely understand, we lose the possibility of learning more and having a more comprehensive understanding. Simply put, keep an open mind, don't become defensive over your own opinions and be respectful and open to others opinions. Yes, these things may seem like simple human behaviors, but when we're faced with difficult conversations or experiences-we tend to forget them all together.
If I were to think of all of the things I wanted to write about this month, this wasn't actually at the top of my list. However, we are already embroiled in the Holiday season and this is often when difficult conversations can arise with family, friends or acquaintances. From my own experiences this year, there have been plenty of conversations I have had myself that I find these reminders to be helpful. This year, I started back at work full-time, sent one kid off to college, had the other kid enter high school and I myself have started back to college to finish my degree. There has been so much change this year and many experiences that have forced me to reconsider my opinions in many different areas. Like I mentioned earlier, we often base our opinions off of what is right in front of us-with a bit of tunnel vision. As we have new experiences and shift our worldview, we can open our mind and understanding exponentially.
The full-time work that I do brings out the 'type-A' in my personality, and not always the beneficial parts of that. It has been a great experience for me to re-examine some aspects of my own short-sightedness. I'll write more on my experiences this year in another post. When I am able to focus on my part-time work (reiki, life-guidance, yoga, etc.) I am able to soften and round out the corners of the type-A. Under the layers of it all, I hope that the work(s) I do help spread love and understanding.
If there's one thing I can leave you with tonight-it's to remember to keep love at the forefront, all of the time. Lead with love. Lead with understanding, empathy and openness. Remember these things as we head out to Holiday parties and gatherings. Help spread love, not opinions and judgement.
Happy Holidays to you all!
With love and light~
What happens when we feel all of the feels?
"Let your feelings out! Don't hold them in!" How often do you see this or hear this being said or chanted? It's something that we encourage in this field, frequently. Something that isn't talked about, or explained, or even warned about is where all of that emotion and feeling goes. When we talk about not holding your feelings in, sharing how you feel or expressing your emotions, it's all about releasing the emotions and the energy that the emotions create inside of you. It's healthy to release and let go.
When does it become unhealthy to release your emotions? Well, this is a tough one. You should always release your emotions, but you have to be careful who you're releasing them on and how you are doing it. We all have the right to feel and to emote, what we shouldn't be doing is projecting on to others. What you can't control is how you feel about something, what you can control is trying to make someone else feel the same way you feel. Often we think that by expressing ourselves (or unleashing) to someone else we are using a healthy form of releasing our emotions. This is not always true. Yes, sharing our feelings when they involve someone else is sometimes necessary for the strength of a relationship, but unleashing onto someone how you are feeling simply to let it out-is not.
There are ways of releasing emotions that are healthy and cannot harm others. Journaling, meditating, yelling (in private), punching (a pillow), dancing, exercising, Reiki, bodywork and even having an Emotion Release session are all safe ways to release your emotions. It is very easy to project those emotions onto others when we 'let it out' in front of them. Be very cautious. Just because you are feeling a certain way, or having strong emotions about something doesn't mean that whoever else is involved needs to understand or take on those emotions as well.
Our emotions don't always need validation or understanding. Simply stating how we are feeling to someone else is a way of releasing the energy that has formed from an emotional event. It's when we expect that another person should share the same feelings or emotions-this is when we can project our 'stuff' on to them and can actually cause harm.
Let me explain this in terms of an example. Have you ever been around someone who is really angry or frustrated about a situation? Maybe that person decides to unleash their frustrations on you and share with you how they are feeling about that situation in vivid detail. You start out not understanding why they are so upset over the situation. As the conversation goes on, you do begin to feel frustrated for them. You feel anger and frustration begin to swirl around inside of you where there was none before. The conversation ends and you walk away. As you go on with your day, your mood has decidedly gone from relaxed and happy to obviously cranky and short-tempered, and you're wondering-'why?' You wouldn't automatically think that you absorbed the emotional energy of the person you had the conversation with, but in fact, that is exactly what happened. Often we want someone else to understand how we are feeling about something, so we will explain in such detail until they begin to truly 'get' why we are feeling the way we do. This is when projecting emotions and emotional energy can happen and suddenly-the other person is feeling emotions that they previously had no part of.
This is all not to say that we shouldn't share how we are feeling or even let someone know when they have hurt us-we just have to be very careful about how that sharing happens. Everyone has feelings and emotions, but those feelings and emotions belong to each individual person and should stay in the energy field of that person and not get forced on other people.
The exceptions to this are, of course, feelings and emotions that are helpful to the collective. It never hurts to share love, happiness, joy and peace with others! There are many emotions we can share that are beneficial to others, we just have to be very careful about the emotions that we can share that cause harm. It's very rarely intentional. What we can be intentional about is spreading emotions that are helpful and healing.
Love and Light~
I am a wife, mom, photographer, avid reader, Yoga enthusiast, nature lover, traveler, adventurer, and child of God, who loves to learn about anything and everything and is just trying to help others see the beautiful beings that they are! Welcome to the blog for my website. Here you will find articles about many, various items of interest. I am a Reiki Practitioner, Life Coach, Yoga Instructor, Energy Healer, Astrologer, custom Mala Creator and your go-to for the support that you have been looking for. Thank you for stopping in!
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